Achilles goes up to the counter, oozing confidence. He orders two venti caramel macchiatos. “That’s a lot of coffee,” says the barista. “Are you sure you can handle it?” “Of course!” cries Achilles. “I’m practically immortal!”
He gets the drinks and begins to walk out of the store. He trips over the threshold, and a little bit of the scalding hot coffee spills down the back of his leg. He dies immediately.
I think I finally found a suitable description to sum up my singing voice 😹😹
Once you hear it, you know…
do you need a ~*social media manager*~ ?
More like I need to start acting like the ~*social media manager*~ of my life. Besides, I can’t afford your talent. 😭
Bahahah the cat thing is a really apt way to describe lack of singing capability. I’m the same. I sang once and my dog flapped his ears down and walked away.
We should all just start a bad singer’s band, call it Bag of Cats and go around singing Christmas carols in the dead of summer (under a giant parasol, of course).
1. What’s your favorite thing to cook?
I like collecting whatever fruit I have lying around and cooking it down, sort of inventing random pie fillings and making rustic little tarts. I like the challenge of experimenting and learning what spices work well together. I’m also slowly working up the nerve to attempt a good from-scratch bread that I love involving blue cheese, golden raisins, walnuts, and cabernet that G brings home on really rare occasions (hence why I want to learn to make it for myself!).
2. What’s your morning routine like?
I hit snooze and wake up 9 minutes later. After checking emails I drag myself downstairs and fill Nina Simone’s food bowl followed by making myself a cup of coffee and breakfast; usually toast with whatever I’m craving on top (either butter, jam, both, or peanut butter and a banana if I’ve got it, or cream cheese if I’m lucky enough to find a bagel), and eat while sitting on the arm of my sofa so that I’m directly facing Nina’s cage (as a babe she wouldn’t eat if I wasn’t watching her, so to this day we share at least one meal a day). I then head back upstairs to my room. If I’m working that day, I’ll do my hair and makeup, get dressed, and head to work (if I’m working later, I’ll only do my hair and rush through makeup before leaving). If I’m not working that day, I’ll scroll through Tumblr and Instagram for a bit, and finally plan the rest of my day either alone or by coordinating with anyone I’ve got scheduled.
3. Public transport or driving?
Public transport in large cities, walking for everywhere else. Although I did just get a bicycle and now ride it everywhere.
4. You have unlimited funds to invest in one piece of art: what do you buy?
Cy Twombly, Fifty Days at Ilium: The Fire That Consumes All Before It. No question about it.
5. Who would play you in a film about your life?
Would Rosamund Pike be willing to go brunette? We’ll let her keep the accent and just say it’s based on true events.
6. Who’s your favorite photographer?
7. If you could acquire one talent that you don’t have, what would it be?
I’d love to be able to sing without it sounding like someone’s slamming a pillow case full of cats against a wall.
8. What’s an accessory that you can’t leave the house without?
I put on lipstick to buy groceries, so…
9. Do you wear glasses?
Yep, I’m blinder than a bat and just as fashionable.
10. Dots or stripes?
11. What’s your poison?
Coffee, obviously. With lots of raw sugar.